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Thursday 8 January 2015

Would you tell a friend they are Fat ?

Have you heard of Steve Miller ? If you have not, he’s the presenter of the English TV show Fat Families. Recently he was slammed for his new project "Warn A Friend They're Fat Day" . He designated the day as the day for Britons to tell a close friend or relative ( who could handle the information) , that they are overweight. It don’t end there, the person would then offer to become an exercise buddy to facilitate weight loss. Miller claims that this could eventually save thousands of lives. The thought is not bad right?  but………


“The plus-size community” were pretty pissed! I can understand why, it could be quite embarrassing & humiliating. Rational was: wouldn't someone who’s already fat be aware of it herself? If she/he wants to do something about it, don’t you think she would already have done that? Rivkie Baum, the editor of plus-size fashion magazine 'Slink' was so disgusted with #Warn A Friend They're Fat Day that she and a group of fellow plus-size campaigners launched a counter movement called #Tell A Friend They're Fab.
She said “ If someone does want to lose weight, the only way they will reach their goal, is if they want it. Anyone who wants your help losing weight, they will ask for it - then is your time to step up. But if that doesn't happen, appreciate that their body is their business and use #youarefab to remind each other of the reason you're friends in the first place.''

Steve Miller thought  #youarefab is equally dangerous.  “Because what they are saying is you are OK to be fat and fabulous.  That is completely wrong in my opinion.  You are basically saying to someone, stay fat and you might die early and that is fine. That is wrong.' 

Well I don't think Baum is trying to say all that. Though I am an advocate of weight loss I have to agree with Rivkie Baum in saying: we should respect other people’s choices, if they have not come for help, don’t infringe & butt out of others business especially regarding sensitive issues. How would you feel if people start telling you what you should do, eat or act? Wouldn’t you get annoyed too?
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38 comments:

  1. Anonymous9 January 2015 at 09:22

    I would not, it's so embarrassing for people.
    People already fat ,very sad already, don't need others to keep reminding them of it! It's quite cruel :((

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    Replies
    1. Beverly9 January 2015 at 12:12

      True.. even how close the person is. This is one of those things that should be off limits- too sensitive .

      Delete
  2. Anonymous9 January 2015 at 20:16

    No way... that'll be the perfect way to end any friendship !

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    1. kim10 January 2015 at 09:59

      Agree. Would you like friends to comment on your pimples if you have some? Or other sensitive things like BO etc.... these are all off limits. If you are a friend, you just need to accept people as what & who they are. Period !!!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous12 January 2015 at 10:45

      well said !

      Delete
    3. mint13 January 2015 at 08:55

      Disagree... if you have BO or chronic bad breathe, I think you should thank the person who have the guts to tell you, so that you don't stink up your r/s, your job etc.... Something like that could potentially mess up your job.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous14 January 2015 at 11:17

      LOL.. BO, bad breath ,& fatness - all these can give hints lah.
      Why must be so direct? You'll embarrass your friends only. Put yourself in their shoes :))

      Delete
  3. Choo17 January 2015 at 09:28

    As good as telling people they are ugly, then offer to be there for them when they do plastic surgery !!!!

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    1. Anonymous19 January 2015 at 11:39

      hahahhahaha.............

      Delete
    2. The Beast20 January 2015 at 08:53

      Only very insensitive people would do that. You can give hints regarding the weight issue (& not the 'ugliness issue) but to say directly is just too crude.

      Delete
  4. Boyle22 January 2015 at 10:00

    Often people mask being insensitive under the guise of doing "something that's good for us" - hate those !!!

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  5. Janie30 January 2015 at 10:06

    Goodness... I wont even tell people if they have BO! It's just too weird !
    I agree it's their business- if people want to be fat, let them. They'll come around when it becomes a health issue- or they wont- anyway that's non- of anyone's business.

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    1. ScaryCat31 January 2015 at 09:54

      say... your BFF is fat, has difficulty even in climbing stairs & she's only 24- what you do? You don't think it's your duty as her bff to at least sound out your concern ? It's health you know & she's your friend !!!!
      I'm facing with this issue right now, am planning to speak to her until I stumble upon this ! Now thinking twice as a result.
      What if she hates me after?

      Delete
    2. pam31 January 2015 at 18:34

      If she's really your 'friend'. she'll understand you meant well, for her health. Try to put it nicely :)

      Delete
  6. cora3 February 2015 at 21:20

    Hi ladies, I did that- speak nicely to a friend of mine about her weight problem & she "rolled " her eyes ..... Made me feel quite stupid for even caring . So a piece of advice, sometimes your perception of good might not be universal- so tread carefully when this is concern.

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  7. kool7 February 2015 at 09:27

    Sure I would tell a friend if they have gotten too fat. Sometimes certain people just need a small reminder :))
    As for 'feelings being hurt" if it's a real friend they understand where you are coming from- "i hope" !!!

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  8. Anonymous27 February 2015 at 08:41

    I wont, issue too sensitive. Imagine being on the receiving end !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cuddly11 March 2015 at 09:45

      Right I'm on the fleshy side, when ever my bf mention it, it hurts like hell !
      sob !!!

      Delete
    2. ZiMin31 March 2015 at 09:45

      I hated when my 'well meaning' super skinny friends remind me of my 'size'. I know they meant well, but still , it's hard to take ! So dont do it !!

      Delete
  9. BodiBe17 April 2015 at 10:08

    I understand all your concerns but for me I'm glad my friends always remind me to cut down on snacks & other junkie food like chips. They are like my watch dog & it certainly helps.

    My advise- dont be so 'sensitive' & just take it , it's good for you body anyway:))

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous20 April 2015 at 10:49

      Second That !

      Delete
    2. Jinny21 April 2015 at 09:13

      When you put on weight , whether your friends said it or not, the sad truth is still that. There's no escaping. You look into the mirror & there it is your reflect. So do something about it. If you want to get angry with someone, it should be with yourself !

      Delete
    3. Sumo4 May 2015 at 10:22

      True...still you dont want to be constantly reminded of your fat ass right?

      Delete
    4. Anonymous5 May 2015 at 08:53

      ...LOL.....

      Delete
  10. Abbie6 May 2015 at 09:10

    Stumble upon this blog when I was looking for methods for losing weight. Very interesting. I want to share what just happen to me.

    I do agree with most of you that telling someone that they are fat to their face is perhaps not advisable. But that just happened to me. My Bestie told me I should do something about my weight before it's too late. I was shock & angry at first. How could she, it hurts & embarrassing. But after that, I did start "seriously" trying to "do something" which brings me here. This is my 4th day on panbesy & I have shed 1.5 kg. I have never felt better.

    In fact I just call my bestie & thank her. What I'm trying to say is, most of the times people are just trying to help. If someone tell you that you are too fat, & they are your friends & not trying to belittle you, do not get mad. Face the facts, Take the advise & lose some weight. Good Luck everyone.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Wow15 May 2015 at 09:43

      I agree.... get over it!
      When you are fat, you are fat!
      No sugar coating will hide the fact that you need to trim your butt!
      So take the hint or advise, be it given in a nice way or not & lose the weight! It's good for you :)

      Delete
  11. Anonymous16 May 2015 at 10:22

    Frankly I've NEVER seen an overweight person, feel that he/she is beautiful in spite of the weight. So you just need to stay ahead & lose the flab before some insensitive friends "tell" you to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Butter26 May 2015 at 09:20

    What do you think of Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect? Or Melissa McCarthy ?
    Fat people can have a career too you know!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jona28 May 2015 at 11:47

      No one is saying they can't have a career! The topic is, would you tell your friends they are fat? Does it even serve a purpose, besides making them feel self conscious & embarrassed ? As if by telling them they'll immediately do something about it. And who are we to go around telling people such things? For me, I'll mind my whole bz ! my 2 cts.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous14 June 2015 at 08:43

      Have you seen SPY ? It's good !!!

      Delete
  13. Mavis12 August 2015 at 10:19

    I would not tell anyone they are fat. I was quite heavy myself before. If anyone would to tell me they "find me fat" I think I'll just curl up & die. My self esteem would just evaporate I guess :((

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Anonymous20 August 2015 at 13:36

      Before you evaporate you should just tell them to mind their own business first !!!!!!

      Delete
  14. Penny28 August 2015 at 09:10

    Friends tell me I'm fat ALL the TIME- but I dont care ! Wait till they have babies or grow old ....lol...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous8 October 2015 at 09:21

    Nobody needs to tell me anything, the way they stared says it all :((
    Please dont stare at fat people, it's rude!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Serena Joy21 September 2017 at 10:35

    I would never ever tell someone they are fat, or ugly or anything. This sort of thing hurts. Plus I'm not perfect either! No one is, not even a super model.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Anonymous22 September 2017 at 17:44

      Seriously even if one is perfect,one should never go around pointing out people's weak points. It's very rude !

      Delete

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